Sunday, October 25, 2009

Well this was a fun blog


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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello i am very serious and i need help and i know this is uncomfortable dialogue for stranger but help please
Stranger: This is the Administrator from Omegle.
We have received multiple complaints of inappropriate, lewd behavior traced to your IP address.
Your local authorities will be alerted within the next 24 hours.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wandering Wisdom Welcomes Wanness


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HEYYYY
You: muster, muse
Stranger: WELL HELOO MUSTER MISE
You: swing slow and sweet
Stranger: OKK
You: neglect not a nary nook of my knowledge
Stranger: NAME???
Stranger: NAME?????
You: my name is old like time and bitter like salt
You: u?
Stranger: OKKKK MY ACTUALL NAME IS DAKOTA
Stranger: I AM A FEMALE
Stranger: AND I AM 12
You: dakota, the driving force of my dichotomous diction
Stranger: WHY YES\
You: yet you speak with the air of a sage perched on mountain top for eons
Stranger: WHY YES I DO
Stranger: how old are you
Stranger: ????????
You: frolic in my fantasy, stimulate my static stupidity
You: im like 22
Stranger: ok your weird so good bye?????
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Nick Jonas <3 AVP


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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: nick jonas?
You: yes
Stranger: YAYYYYY i found you. wanna make out?
You: no
You: thats not how nick jonas rolls
You: perhaps ill buy you some champagne and a promise ring first
You: then we can discuss the terms of tonsil hockey
Stranger: alrights, thats fine by me :)
You: good
You: now
You: thoughts on the cinematic gem, Alien vs Predator please.
Stranger: gem? more like cinematic pile of shite.
You: nick jonas is offended by your vulagarity and is reconsidering the potential promise ring.
You: would you consider yourself more of an alien or a predator?
Stranger: ohhh a predator dude. why else would i be stalking down nick jonas??
Stranger: 
You: what is it that you find relatable to your individuality that molds the predator's persona?
Stranger: everything dude, my persistantness mainly :)
You: that is good nick jonas appreciates the persistent
You: would you take Carl Weather's arm?
Stranger: im glad, im gonna have to be persistant to get that ring off :)
Stranger: who?
You: Predator's proudest prey
Stranger: erm, i would have to say no. ive never seen the whole film. i got too bored....
You: this is original Schwarzeneger shit, not that dumbass PG 13 Hollywood abortion
You: anyhoo
You: continue to woo nick jonas
You: please
You: i crave an ego massage
Stranger: but its just not the same now i know youre not nick...
You: i am nick
You: how dare you question nick jonas?
You: ask me anything, i will prove i am nick jonas
Stranger: okay, what are your brothers called?
You: frederick and stephenson
Stranger: incorrect. goodbye nick faker.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Nick Jonas <3 AVP

Martha Stewart Bombs


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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey, whats your name?
You: hi im sam
You: least favorite ethnicity. go.
Stranger: im charlie
Stranger: AZNS
You: why?
Stranger: because they are ugly as fuck
You: yeah
Stranger: and u?
You: mexicans
You: cause theyre feisty latin temper routinely offends me
You: 2nd least favorite?
Stranger: umm, eastern europeans, far too cocky
You: their chains and oily hair bother me, too
You: pro or anti homicide?
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: that doesnt make sense
You: are u pro or anti homicide?
Stranger: pro
You: how many homicides have you done?
Stranger: 13 give or take
You: i dont believe u
Stranger: i use piano wire
Stranger: for the stangers, if its specific ive used homemade bombs
You: that is nice
You: i would appreciate the martha stewart touch, if i was to be homicided
Stranger: hows that?
You: the homemade nature of ur bombs, i mean
You: none of that fight club, orange juice pulp nonsense
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Baby Daddy Drama


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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hellow
Stranger: horny? baby?
You: omg ur sick
You: why would you ask that?
Stranger: yeah iam
Stranger: i'm so horny
You: im pregnant
Stranger: i needu
You: fuck ur nasty
You: what would you do with me?
Stranger: 1st, i want 2 suck your pussy
You: suck too hard and ull pull the baby out
You: whats 2nd?
Stranger: yu suck my dick
You: that doesnt sound like fun
Stranger: it will make u so wet
You: you sound like my dad
Stranger: yesh baby your dad want 2 fuck u
You: i think hes the daddy
You: i hate it
You: i just want to kill him and me and the baby
Stranger: does he do sth bad for u?
You: whats sth?
Stranger: u know
You: no, i really have no idea what those letters mean
Stranger: it doesn't matter,and your age baby?
You: im only 19
You: i just feel really alone right now
Stranger: so let me comfort u
You: ok...
Stranger: how 2?
You: i dont think anything can
Stranger: why?
You: cause im carrying my dads child and im prob gonna flunk out of school
You: im sorry
You: whats up with you? im boring
Stranger: so do i
Stranger: i'm a19 boy
You: oh wow
You: i thoguht you would be older
You: you just seemed really mature
Stranger: i have experienced a lot of things
You: yeah? like what?
Stranger: i was fucked by my teacher
You: dude or girl?
Stranger: a fucking lsdy
Stranger: lady
You: do you wanna kill her?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: but i cann't get away from her
You: what do you mean?
Stranger: i was fallen in her touch
You: ahhhh you have a sweet side
You: maybe id suck yo dik
You: do you think its gross ive got a baby?
Stranger: no
Stranger: so i need your touch
You: what do you want me to do?
Stranger: suck mine
You: iono....i dont know you that well
You: would you be rough?
Stranger: no
You: thats good
You: i just wanna be loved
You: i need a daddy for my baby
Stranger: does i fit?
You: u sound cute lol
You: what does love mean to you?
Stranger: responsbility
You: what else?
Stranger: and some fuck
You: is that the most important thing?
Stranger: no but it cann't lack
You: yeah
You: u sound cute lol
You: i think ur smart, 2
You: iono
You: im sorry, i wish i was horny as u wanted me 2 be
Stranger: nothing
You: make me horny
Stranger: r u wet?
You: no
Stranger: i think u r hot
Stranger: so sexy
You: still not wet...lol....tell me about your body
Stranger: huge dick
Stranger: i.m high
You: how big?
Stranger: can u imagine it?
You: i can imagne a dick, lol. how big are you? cut or uncut?
Stranger: 5cm
You: 5cm? im american, dont know what that means
Stranger: length
You: how length is that?
Stranger: i can't stand my dick is so horny
You: what do you want to do with it?
Stranger: u suck it
You: ok...
You: is that all?
Stranger: what u want 2 do then?
Stranger: can u do it together with me?
Stranger: now
Stranger: just make us high
You: yeah
Stranger: use word
You: iono....i want a dude thatll ram my butt
You: does that make me a slut?
Stranger: great
You: im sorry, i know its gross
Stranger: so plz put your t- back
You: huh?
Stranger: can u describe your body for me?
You: im tiny
You: five three
You: barely 100 pounds
You: is that too small?
Stranger: r u putting off your clothes?
You: im just in my underwear, lol, havent taken any on or off since talked to u
Stranger: nice
You: yeah
You: im getting kinda wet
You: i like picturing u as a strong dude
You: u got muscles?
Stranger: i can imagine i am touch your pussy
Stranger: yeah
You: should i?
You: touch my pussy
Stranger: touch me
You: i wanna touch you
Stranger: imagine it
You: how u want me to touch u?
Stranger: ican't answer iam imagining i'm touch your body
You: how u gonna touch me?
Stranger: your everything
You: my baby?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: our baby
You: u gonna mkae the baby cum?
Stranger: just imagine
You: i want this fucking baby to cum
Stranger: honey
Stranger: now. we r enjoying our body
Stranger: together with me
You: me you and the baby?
Stranger: great
You: i just need this baby to cum, u know? i need this lil boy to know what it is to be a man
You: i hope im not weirding u out
You: just tryn to be honest
Stranger: now i'm into you forget everything . just enjoy it
You: awwwwww baby
You: fuck yeah
You: keep talkin
Stranger: yeah oh ohoh
Stranger: honey
You: fuck that fuckin babyt
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: fuck yeah
You: make it ur fuckin slut
You: 0 god im wet
Stranger: your ass is too hot
You: fuckin hit it
Stranger: too sexy
You: hit it faggot fuckkkkk im wet
Stranger: so do i
Stranger: suck my dick
You: yeeee
You: fuck omg
You: fuck
You: omg
You: keep talkin
Stranger: shout it loud
You: FUCK ME
Stranger: oh oh oh oh fuck yeah
Stranger: oh oh oh
You: fuckin suck my shit and fuck my ass fuckkkkkkkk you fuckin faggot make my baby CUMMMMMMMMMM
Stranger: geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee t it
You: fuck immmmma cum
You: fuckkkk
Stranger: my queen
You: keep talkin, tell me sumpin dirty
Stranger: oh oh let me into your ass
You: fuck im spreadin it
You: fuckin put me
You: put it in me
You: punch me in the eye
Stranger: i'min baby
You: FUCKING PUNCH ME IN THE EYE
Stranger: suck me
You: yeah shit let me taste taht shit
You: fuck more, give me more dirty
Stranger: you shout baby
Stranger: keep shouting
You: fuck im shoutin
You: oh shit im shoutin
You: tell me about how u wanna hit my baby
You: plzzzzzzzzzzzz
Stranger: crash his heard
You: yeah, fuck yeah, against what?
Stranger: oh let me into you passy again open your pussy babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
You: yeah fuck yeah imma cum u gonna cum?
You: fuck goddamnit fucking faggot TALK DIRTY PUNCH ME IN THE EYE
Stranger: oh roll you pussy make me more horny and cummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.oh fuck yeah
You: fuck yeah tell me about how you wanna punch me in the eye
You: im almost there
Stranger: roll u ass plz baby
You: its bouncin bitch tell me about punchin me in the eye
Stranger: my dick is high again let's do it again
You: not til u punch me in the eye
Stranger: yeah baby
You: FUCKIN DO IT I AINT CUM
Stranger: so suck my dick
Stranger: now
You: i am but plz i am shit but plz punch me in the eye, i need it to climaks
Stranger: so give me your pussy goddness
You: u suck dude
You: i just wanted u to punch me in the fucking eye
You: and u couldnt do it
You: u aint no daddy to my baby
You: i aint even wet no more, fuck, waste of time
Stranger: i can do it
You: fuckin do it
Stranger: my wife don't leave me
Stranger: plz
Stranger is typing...